20 Useless Personal Facts
1 – I’ve been beat up, I’ve been thrown out, but I’m not down. Wait, no I haven’t, that was The Clash. My mistake.
2 – I was born on April 3rd – other things that happened on that date include; the Crucifixion of Jesus; the Coronation of Edward the Confessor, last Anglo-Saxon king of England; the death of the outlaw Jesse James; the first mobile phone call by a researcher at Motorola; the arrest of Anarcho-Primitivist terrorist Theodore ‘Unabomber’ Kaczynski. It’s a lot to live up to, that’s for sure.
3 – I bought the famously bug-ridden, unfinished Battlecruiser 3000AD on it’s release in March 1997. Fifteen years later it remains the one purchase I regret most. I have kept the receipt as a reminder of my folly.
4 – I used to watch Dawson’s Creek religiously. I mean I used to watch it regularly, not that I was praying to it or anything. Although I’d probably have built an effigy of Katie Holmes if I’d been able.
5 – I’ve always had this fear that one day I’ll accidentally gouge out both my eyes.
6 – I quite like the idea of having a small tattoo, but I’ve never been able to think of anything I would want to keep on me.
7 – I love technology, but it doesn’t reciprocate. My previous PC went through three motherboards; the first two never worked at all and I’m pretty sure the third was the reason it started bluescreening regularly. The current one arrived with a dodgy video card. Every time I turn the thing on part of me is expecting it to go catastrophically wrong. My iPhone works fine although Orange did manage to charge me £10 for about 3mb of 3G usage on the first day.
8 – I like to walk round at night whilst everyone else is asleep. When I was in the first year at university I had difficulty sleeping and would end up rambling around for hours, or else standing on the footbridge over the A525 watching the nighttime traffic.
9 – Many of my favourite films feature prolonged sequences where people drive through cities whilst music plays and no-one speaks. It used to be that a lot of the TV shows I watched would have men with guns jumping out of an unmarked black 4×4 but I haven’t seen that happen in ages now.
10 – I have a profile on an online dating site but I’ve never actually contacted anyone on it. I did get a message once from someone who described themselves as a ‘pro-life conservative Dr Who fan’. One out of three isn’t terrible, but. . .
11 – I sometimes psyche myself up to go to work by playing the first minute and a half of Klendathu Drop from the soundtrack to Starship Troopers. You have to play it loud, but it does work quite well.
12 – I’ve had to reapply for online banking twice because I forgot my passwords and got locked out of the system. Whilst I was in the States I left my bank card in the machine and spent the next few months holding up queues paying for chocolate with my credit card.
13 – I often regret not drinking more.
14 – I’m not proud of this, but whenever I hear someone complaining about “‘elf an’ safety” laws my first thought is “I hope that person is involved in a terrible accident at work”.
15 – I think my right ear must be a weird shape or something, because whenever I wear earphones the right one keeps falling out. Is that normal? Also I have partial simple syndactyly, which is to say the middle toes on both feet are webbed. Maybe it’s the Innsmouth Look.
16 – When I first got a digital radio, back in 2004, I spent quite a while listening to a mysterious channel called D1 Temp. All it ever played was a twenty minute or so loop of ambient woodland sounds; at one point you could hear a plane overhead. I later found out it was a placeholder for a channel ITN bought but never used.
17 – The strangest thing that’s ever happened to me was when I was lying in bed in the early hours of the morning and realised that I could hear the first minute and a half of the Star Trek: The Next Generation theme tune playing faintly, over and over again. It went on for hours and for a while I thought I might be imagining it; eventually I realised the person in the room above had fallen asleep watching a DVD and I was hearing the menu music looping.
18 – I hardly ever remember my dreams, and when I do they’re almost always really bizarre. Like being trapped in a rabbit hutch in a garden shed in the desert bizarre.
19 – I feel like I should regret having spent huge swathes of my time at university playing games, going to the cinema and reading things utterly unrelated to my course, but I just can’t bring myself to do it.
20 – I used to play chess several times a week during lunch break when I was in Sixth Form. I won once. I haven’t played it since.
21 – I’ve never been very good at maths.