Whilst Playing Saints Row: The Third I Have

by coldglass

Stolen an entire bank vault, whilst disguised as the man standing next to me
Fallen out of a plane and fought off dozens of goons in freefall, passing through the plane a second time mid-way
Parachuted into a penthouse full of eurotrash gangsters whilst listening to Kanye West
Stormed through a skyscraper full of cloning vats alongside a giant naked man
Taken part in a running battle with all combatants in rickshaws pulled by gimps
Driven a convertible with an angry tiger in the passenger seat, with vans full of animal rights activists in pursuit
Stolen a National Guard Humvee, painted it gloss pink, fitted it with NOS and driven the wrong way down the freeway blasting the Aqua Teen Hunger Force theme tune
Kidnapped a terrible actor from under military guard whilst disguised as a slutty vampire nun
Entered a Tron-style neon wireframe world to battle an army of New Romantics
Repeatedly flown a speeding hoverbike into bridges
Fought off waves of corporate mascots with an enormous dildo
Fallen out of another plane, this time whilst in a tank, fought off dozens of plummeting commandos, some of them in their own tanks, bailed out and hijacked a second tank before landing
Blown up an aircraft carrier
Destroyed a zombie plague to gain the respect of Burt Reynolds
Used a chainsaw in a wrestling match
Blown up another aircraft carrier, this one a Skybase/Helicarrier-style flying one
Declared my turf an independent sovereign nation

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